The Blank Page Revival Website

Hey everyone!  The Blank Page Revival WEBSITE is up and running.


From now on all blogs will be on the site.  Bookmark it or put it on your favourites page and check in on us every now and again...


Here's the link:
www.blankpagerevival.com

Trapped in Paradise

Let me begin by encouraging you, if you ever get the chance, to go to Marine Land on the first Tuesday of back-to-school week.  It was like a deserted playground for mammals!  The girls fed whales, hung out with deer, and had their way with every ride they could find.  


We spent the week down at Niagara Falls... It seems, try as we might, that we can't get out of Ontario.  On the up side, we are learning to appreciate how beautiful and ENORMOUS our province truly is (Ontario is 3 times the size of Texas, I'm told).  


As for Operation Indiana, good news so far.  It appears that the growth on her liver is not cancerous, but the doctors are still not sure what this thing is, why it is growing, and what the next steps are... So we wait.  Thank you all for your continued prayer and support as we wade through this uncertain time...


As for me and Blaise, we have never felt so desperate, and so dependant on God.  We set out on this thing imagining that God had 'called' us to go out, but life is keeping us right here.  Furthermore, there are no options for us, nowhere to go, nothing to do, but wait and wonder what's next.  On more personal matters, which I can't go in to right now, we are being challenged financially in a very sudden way that we did not see coming...  


It's like God is forcing our hands open on every front. Your children belong to Me; wait and listen.  Your money belongs to Me; wait and listen.  Your time, your hopes, and your abilities belong to Me; wait and listen.  I can't put it adequately into words, but we feel as though our very belief in God is being challenged, anted-up... like this is all or nothing... Like this is the fire where people get changed and it's impossible to wrap our minds around what's happening, why it's happening, and how long it's going to last...  


There is so much to share, and just no more room.  So I apologize for this long and obscure entry.  We are sincerely aware of the miracle of life, the fleeting nature of it, and the value of caring friends... this much we know.  As long as we're trapped here in this province with butterflies, belugas, and with all of you, we're trapped in paradise.  

Rich Nana, Poor Nana

Staying at Nana's house is a real blessing!  Our square footage has increased, there's cable TV (HGTV for us, Treehouse for the girls), good food (we're having salmon tonight!), and toilets with plumbing (don't laugh, the plumbing in an RV is manual, if you get what I'm saying)...

Also, it's nice to be with family and friends again.  But take a good look at this picture...  Poor nana... her once neat, attractive and quiet home has become a breeding ground for lego, pet shops, games, snacks, the crumbs and spills that accompany snacks, doll houses, and stuffies...

On the other hand... rich nana, for all the same reasons.

Indiana is well.  We will keep you all updated.

Life Without Plans...

The girls are hard at work...  And that about sums-up our day...  

We are quite literally, and for the first time, living without plans.  It's a unique way to live.  We don't have a house, or jobs, or any place to go, and nothing to do... We are in limbo; waiting to hear the results of Indi's biopsy, eating, sleeping, and, as you can see, working at serious play time together.

We are so thankful for our health, and for our time together today.  We are in God's hands.  And what comes next is a mystery...

Recovery

With the sounds of the best hospital in the world still ringing in my head, I realize that Indiana is not the only one in recovery.  

When someone we all love faces uncertain and unusual circumstances, we worry.  We fear.  We pray.  We hope.  We cry.  We wait.  We wonder...  And when it is over, and we see her lying there for the first time and she smiles, the whole world suddenly slows right down, and we smile back.

The rest is just recovery... for all of us.

Thank you everyone, for your prayers and your support.  We don't know what the next steps will be, but for now we are thankful, and that's enough...

Back to Life

Scrolling back through the last several blog entries I am glad to see the joy of it. Truth be told, the kids are happier and healthier that we have ever seen them. We are so grateful for this time with our girls. Picabo is laughing louder and more fully than ever, and Indiana is doing so much better. She is wonderfully curious, and funny, and full of life...

As for me and Blaise, we are... We are uncertain - perhaps more than ever. Why are we out here? What are we doing? Where is God in this? This last question is the toughest to wrap our heads around... Let me tell you why.

We were about six hours from Thunder Bay when we heard from Sick Kids Hospital... Indiana has a growth on her liver that has been growing, and they want to do a biopsy. The news broke our hearts, and when we told Indi, the news broke hers. She just wants to be okay. We, of course, are now almost home - - be back tomorrow in fact...

It doesn't make any sense. Maybe that's the way it is supposed to be...?

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" says Phil. 4:4. Note here that the verse is not followed by "unless you are struggling in any way or if you are unsure about your purpose in life..." Instead, the verse is followed by "Do not be anxious about anything." But that is hard to do. Indi cries at the thought of going back to the hospital. And we do not sleep as peacefully as the girls do night after night...

The vacation part of our trip is over... Back to life now.

Name Contest Winner!

To catch everyone up, a little while back we had a name contest for our home-on-wheels...  

Up until recently the front-running entry was “The Star Ship,”  submitted by our good friend William... you were sooo close!  Thanks for your brilliant mind (hey everyone, go to the Loblaws at McCowan and Hwy 7 and ask for William, in the health food section.  He will give you some great tips on healthy eating, healthy living, and how to throw a serious party)!  

The official WINNER of the name contest goes to auntie Anne-Lis.  DUSTY ROSE was her entry, and we love it!  (Dusty for short... and it’s a girl - according to our girls).  Your prize is coming Anne...

Tour de dog

Make no mistake, ours is not a trip around the continent, nor is it a walkabout, a mobile vacation, or any other purposed enterprise apart from discovering and collecting the names of K9s... Yes folks, ours is a tour de dog!  Led, no doubt, by our fearless 5 year old and her adorable love for dogs (preferably small and gentle, but any dog will do).

With the help of mom and older sister, she has started a journal to collect and list the names of all the hounds we track down!  

Here’s the list so far:

Missy (see above pic)

Chip

Rover

Sam

Kansas

Misty

Oliver

Kayla

Snoopy

(+ a few more; names have been forgotten)

The quest continues... Look, there's one now!!!

The Teeth... They are A Changin'

Two teeth in two days; one naturally, the other as a result of Picabo's elbow... but it got the job done!  That's a cool $4 in Indiana's pocket (and a dollar goes to Pica as a finder's fee).  Dollar store, here they come!

We're currently in North Bay.  We need to stay close to home for a bit... just until we hear from Sick Kids regarding Indiana's MRI.  Until then, we continue to explore Northern Ontario, watch sunsets, catch caterpillars, name them "fluffy," swim, fish, and dream and drive!

Digging for Treasure

We are currently in Sault Ste. Marie, ON, staying in a KOA.  For those of you who, like us, have no idea what a KOA is, let me tell you.

It is the full-service version of RV camping... Pool, mini golf, playground, staff in matching t-shirts, and a movie rental outlet.  It is just about the opposite of our place on Manitoulin Island, where we were much more secluded.  See above pic of Picabo digging for treasure beside an amazing waterfall!

No waterfalls at this KOA, but the kids love the pool and the amenities, and they "don't want to leave!"  The problem is that this full-service campground comes with a full service price tag.

We head to WAWA (that's just fun to say) tomorrow morning.  After that, Thunder Bay.

***Just a footnote, I love diesel.  From Markham to Sault Ste. Marie on only 3/4 tank of gas!    
- About 700 km, and over 8 hours of driving!  Waahooooo!!!

Room with a View

Great place to park a home...

Lake Kagawong, Manitoulin Island

Agony and Ecstasy

The agony of leaving was remarkable.  It was an overwhelming process, and everyone close to us over the last two weeks has been witness to our fatigue, illness, anxiety, worry, sleeplessness, emotional exhaustion, and so on...  Thank you for all of your support, prayers, and practical help.  We are so grateful for everyone who chipped in in these final preparatory days (wink, wink, momma KP, and aunt Annie)!

And then, of course, the ecstasy of hitting the road.  We are all still trying to wriggle out from under the weights of stress we've been carrying, but already there is a sense of freedom and adventure before us.

We are currently about 40 miles north of Perry Sound.  Today we head to Manitoulin Island.

We will be in touch.

August RUSH

I once read a quote that said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." Only recently has that witty little notation come to have real meaning for us.

As you know, we have been advertising our lift-off date as August 1st... And up until today we have been intent (if not irrationally adamant) on sticking to that schedule. The renovations are in full gear, I'm pulling ridiculous hours to get everything done, the kids are wondering why mommy and daddy are so busy and not playing with them (mommy and daddy are finishing work, tying up lose ends, renovating, commuting, prepping insurance and the like, and fumbling their way through new transitions), and now we have been hit with news that Indi is needed at Sick Kids for more testing - - starting tomorrow morning!

***Please keep Indiana in your prayers...

August 1st is losing it's appeal.

We will keep you updated.

Catch Up

Due to the big move-out of the house, the licensing of the RV, changing ownership, and moving down to the Danforth (which we are absolutely loving!), we have been absentee bloggers...

Coming soon will be more pics of our new home, a detailed account of the chaos that has accompanied our move, and the remarkable emotional impact of the last two weeks...

If you happen to be passing by TOB, check out the big dark pink RV in the parking lot!

Man it's HOT out there... Stay indoors if possible, don't idle, hydrate, be nice...

The 1998 Fleetwood Discovery NAME CONTEST...

(Click on the pictures to enlarge) Well friends, next week we pick up this big bus and we need to have a name for her...  Lots of names have been submitted so far, and some of them are great! Our favorites at the moment are: #1: The Star Ship Discovery (to boldly go where no family has gone before...)  #2: Rudolf #3: The Turtle #4: Betty The one who wins the name contest will win a little prize!   So keep em' coming!!! (By the way, check out the "Traveling Sisters" new blog page!)

SOLD!

Well friends, she's 36 feet in length, runs on diesel fuel, and she's pink!

At 4:53 pm on this day, the 7th of June, 2010, we shook hands with Roger and sealed the deal. We are now the proud owners of our next home on wheels... A 1998 Fleetwood Discovery... Approximately 215 square feet of living space.

We haven't named her yet... All suggestions are welcome. Email them to us at:

nomadsbychoice@gmail.com

P.S. More pictures of "unnamed RV" to come...

Cement

Have you ever carried a bag of cement? It’s heavy, dead weight. It stifles your ability to walk. You move, but it’s more of a stiff and slumberous trudge, like Frankenstein’s’ monster.

Try as you might, you cannot carry such a thing and ignore the fact. The weight is real and cumbersome.

As we approach the date of departure -- which increasingly feels more 'real' everyday -- where words and imagination become indisputably palpable, it gets heavy like that bag of cement.

Although we pretend not to be, we are tense about finances, walking around with a bit of a clenched jaw. We are unsure of how this whole thing will play out. We are nervous about what a family full of allergies will eat. And still there is that lingering doubt, like maybe this whole thing is some sort of extremist response to a mid-life crisis…

And it feels like cement.

“59 more days” rolls of the tongue like “tomorrow” rolled off yesterday. Are we ready for this? Is this really happening?

As my wife comes downstairs from putting the kids to bed, she puts her arm around me and smiles. She tells me something Pica said and we laugh…

I am suddenly reminded of the moment we’re in. I’m reminded that tomorrow is promised to nobody. I’m reminded of how much I love my wife and kids. And just now the load gets lighter. The bag tears at the bottom.

We’re in this together. And the fear that sometimes pushes us around is just interference. After all, if God is for us, who can be against us? Maybe we're more prepared than we think...

The ever-problematic procedure of choosing

Apparently, I could not choose a better title...

There can be no denying that this process for us has been, and continues to be, a ‘decision-making-process.’ After all, we have made the decision to sell our house and most of our belongings, just as we are now in the process of making decisions regarding what our new home-on-wheels will be, where we will go, and that sort of thing.

People have been asking us why we are doing this. For those of you who want to know, we are doing this because we somehow feel strongly that we should. Unfortunately we have little more to offer by way of explanation, unless you are interested in a bit of a Bible study. If not, we encourage you to stop reading here, and we’ll meet up again at the next entry…

If you are interested to hear a bit more about how we have come to make these decisions, in light of the uncertainty that forever presents itself to the Christian decision-maker, we can offer only our experience and a some scripture.

Through out the bible we are given phrases like “Get up” (Jdg. 7:15, 1 Ki. 19:5, Eze. 3:22, Mark 2:9, Acts 22:16), “Go out” (Ex. 16:4, Luke 14:21), “Do likewise” (Luke 10:37), “Seek me” (Jer. 29:13, Amo. 5:4), and “Follow me” (Matt. 4:19, Luke 5:27, Acts 12:8). These are all sending messages. No matter how we cut it, these are action words.

For us, such repetition finally jarred us into asking questions like, “how can we ‘go out’ and ‘follow Him’”? And herein lay the crux. Upon deciding that ‘yes, we should make more of an effort to “go out” beyond our comfort zone,’ we are immediately left with a harsh and sometimes debilitating LACK of holy street signs pointing the way.

Indeed, in our humble experience, long gone are the days of burning bushes, pillars of fire from the sky, and luminous stars throwing spotlights on where to go.

The other day we were reading Philippians, and in 2:12 it says that we should continue to “work out” our salvation. This too is a phrase of action. It seems to hint that there are no clear lines to follow, save that somehow we are to go and seek first the Kingdom of God – before all other things. And with this as our chief concern God will lead us as we go. He will lead AS WE GO.

How does He do that, you ask… We ask that too - - all the time!

We have no idea, except that in the last several months, as we have slowly made decisions with the bible in one hand and our lifestyles in the other, we have felt peace along the way. Sometimes after making a substantial choice we will each have a lot of joy about it, and this coupled with encouragement and prayer from others has served to slowly shape a clearer vision of what we are to do…

So for now, we’re taking it a day at a time, one small choice followed by another.

Great Expectations

Remember I told you how "a few days later the phone rang"? (See "A mess you can't get out of"). Well it was a friend of ours telling us about someone they knew who was getting kicked-out of her place. For whatever reason, our friend called us. The woman moved in with us that night. A couple of months later and an identical call (but from a different friend) had us asking our 5 year old if we could give her bed to someone who needed a place to live - and was coming to live with us. She said "yes," and then jumped into bed with her sister. Over two years later and our girls still voluntarily share a bed!

Our small three bedroom town home (our first home) was now a relatively full-house (6 in total). These once strangers who occupied our basement and third bedroom quickly became family. Over the next two years, as they found their feet and moved out, others moved in.

A good friend of mine said something to me this morning that stuck with me throughout the day. It wasn't until my drive home that I was able to put it down, and I take it up again only now to tell you about it. She said, "I think that you may be putting a lot (meaning expectations) on this trip." Maybe I am? Are we setting ourselves up for a giant letdown? These were two of many thoughts I wrestled with throughout the day. I was genuinely worried that that was exactly what we are doing...

But what occurred to me so clearly during the drive home is that the very reason we are doing all of this (selling everything and hitting the road) is because we ARE "putting a lot" on this trip - - in fact, we're putting everything on this trip!

I was reminded today of our expectations for this odyssey:

We want untainted time with each other and with our children. I anticipate that.
We want to slow down, to become single-taskers, opposed to multi-taskers. I anticipate that.
We want to meet people, and to see what's happening outside of our familiar-zone. I anticipate that.
And we want to have time where we can push into God - the one who created us. We want time to LISTEN, to be still, to read and to pray. And I anticipate that.

When we asked God to use our home and our resources (in that old prayer), He came through in a big way. I expect nothing less this time around.


Thanks Kim for all of your wisdom and encouragement as we prepare.

The Bearable Lightness of Being

A Whirlwind this morning! The first people to show up were here at 7:00 am. A garage full of tools went rather quickly, then the furniture, and finally some book-lovers thumbed through the library. It's 2:30 pm and the house is a lot lighter now.

Today was our "contents sale." Contents... the content within our home... in other words, "stuff." We sold a lot of stuff today. Thank you to everyone who supported this effort.

It's not easy to let go. For whatever reason, our stuff becomes a part of our identity. Stuff travels from the store to our homes and then it settles in. We don't just purchase it, we adopt it. Eventually we even say that we 'need' it; like we could not live without a sofa... How unbearable. "You're selling THAT??? You NEEEED that!!!"

There were lots of bargains today. Our favorite pieces (an old pew, retro red chair, an antique lamp) went to good homes and happy people. I have some money in my pocket to show for it... but this is a strange experience. My house is lighter, my pockets a bit heavier, and slightly stunned expressions on our faces, there's no turning back now.

We have less options for sitting. I'm sure we'll adapt.

A mess you can't get out of...

Let me take you back to the lobby of a former strip club. That was the building our church community bought – the last strip club in Markham! We went from a living room to a golf club to a huge building that we gutted and transformed into a gathering place.
One Sunday my wife, Blaise, was standing in the lobby when a woman walked up and handed her a book. “I think God wants you to read this…”

The book was titled “The Irresistible Revolution,” written by Shane Claiborne. Blaise promised to take a look at it. She did. And when she was finished 'looking' she handed the book to me and said, “I think God wants you to read this...” And I did.

“I asked participants who claimed to be “strong followers of Jesus” whether Jesus spent time with the poor. Nearly 80 percent said yes. Later in the survey, I sneaked in another question, I asked this same group of strong followers whether they spent time with the poor, and less than 2 percent said they did. I learned a powerful lesson: We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor.”
- Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

This little paperback book had us asking questions that we had never even thought about before. They were tough questions. They challenged our idea of Christianity. They challenged our lifestyle and the choices we were making to maintain it. They stirred up a dust storm that still hasn’t settled. Not even close. I was upset. We were upset. We were restless, agitated, thirsty. The finish of this book saw the beginning of another, and then another, each building upon where the others left off; as if God was building a case, making an argument, pushing us around a bit, splashing water on our face.

When I say God was pushing us around a bit, I don’t mean “a bit.” This wasn’t a little pig-tail-pulling at recess. This was almost 3 years of way more questions asked than answered, paramount frustration, anger, uncomfortable change, desperation, prayer and hope for something more. However, you could argue that we provoked Him... Pray the wrong thing and you could find yourself in a mess you can’t get out of. Ours went like this:

“Lord Jesus, we want more of you. We have all of this stuff, this house, our money, our time, and our lives, and it’s all for nothing if it isn’t all for you. Use us, as you will, for your Kingdom’s sake. Seriously. In Jesus name.”

A few days later the phone rang.

What if...?

“(We) are… caught up in our autobiographies. We are fully invested in our own over-scheduled lives. And we have made it difficult to retreat from these driven lives because we have come to construe them as normal.”
– John B. Hayes

Mr. Hayes is right. In fact, he’s seriously insightful. I can’t deny that the whole of my life has very much been concentrated on the scripting of my life. So far my wife and I have filled a volume. Do you want to know what it says? Here’s the back-cover summary:

“We have been pursuing the Western ideal ever since we could remember. It’s a promising quest. Start with a career. We wanted to be artists! Since “artist” is an umbrella term, we tried everything: writer, songwriter, singer, sculptor, musician, painter, graphic artist, dancer, choreographer, designer, director, producer, play writer, poet. Some success followed. But neither of us made the cover of People Magazine.

We moved on to steady jobs with benefits, followed of course by a couple of houses, a couple of kids, a couple of cars, a couple of Macs, a modern kitchen with stainless steal appliances, a bathroom with a soaker tub, a skylight, pot lights on dimmers, and hardwood throughout. Next, put the kids in a great school. Collect some art as we go, make some sound financial investments, and then focus on healthy eating. HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) be damned!

Then we had our Christian duties to fulfill: go to church, volunteer, be kind to others, give some money away, that sort of thing.

The whole book, one chapter after another, we imagined that what we were writing was “normal.” This is what people do! And so it was, we filled the pages of our lives with the Western script of the status quo.”

And man did we fill the pages!

But herein lay the ruse. For we quickly became too busy to ever even consider a different way of living…


But, what if we did?

What if we stopped for a moment?

What if we began asking “what if?” more often? Like, what if we began to question why we do things, how we do things, and for whom we do things? What if we wanted to live differently? What if we wanted to invest in different things? What if the status quo was a dead end? What if we wanted to explore the options? Ya, this examining-our-lives-thing feels right. In fact, the more questions we ask, the greater our hunger grows for answers. The more curious we become.

And so here we are. Question-askers. No answers yet; but we are not deterred! For we are taking the question-asking process very seriously. Questions must be asked slowly, over time. They must be birthed from contemplation, examination, conversation, prayer and meditation. If we rush into the questions, we miss the point. For you can quickly become a question-asker, but ask irrelevant, trivial questions.

Why are we here? What is the purpose of our lives? Where did we come from and where are we going? What legacy do we want to leave behind? What do we want to invest in? These are relevant questions.

As we go I will share with you all the relevant questions and conversations we have engaged in the last 3 years. The sum of these is where we are now, and what we know needs to happen next:

Erase the script we have written. Take the most important thing we have – our family – and start again with a blank page.


A blank page...


And when the page is empty, we will go out to find the answers. If God is the reason we are here, and we believe He is, let Him be the author of our lives. Our prayer is that He will write on the pages we will give Him.

We hope you will join us.

Welcome to the Blank Page Revival.

Welcome

On August 1st, 2010, the adventure begins...